Domestic Violence

Are you in an abusive relationship?

Every relationship is different. That’s why domestic violence may look very different depending on the relationship. No matter what tactics the abusive partner uses within the relationship, abusers are always trying to gain power and control over their partners. There are some signs that might indicate your partner is becoming abusive.

You might be in an abusive relationship if your partner:

• • Looks at you or acts in ways that scare you

  • Prevents you from making your own decisions

  • Shows jealousy or anger when you spend time alone or with friends and family

  • Embarrasses or shames you with put-downs or insults

  • Takes your money or refuses to give you money for expenses

  • Portrays the violence as mutual and even consensual

  • Uses intimidation, such as yelling at you, throwing things, or placing you in fear of harm.

  • Threatens to “out” you because of your sexual orientation or gender identity.

  • Uses all the resources you’ve received to support themselves or states that no one will help you because you are LGBTQ

  • Blames their controlling behavior on alcohol, drugs, or past substance use.

  • Pressures you to have sex when you don’t want to or demandes you to performsexual acts that you’re not comfortable with.

  • Destroys your property or keeps your belongings from you.

  • Threatens to kill you, your children, your family, and/ or your pets.

• Physically assaults you, such as hitting, kicking, punching, or strangling you

If you are experiencing any of these in your relationship, contact us for support at 816-349-9371 or info@kcavp.org.

What is domestic violence?

A pattern of behaviors used by one partner (the abuser) to maintain power and control over the other (the victim-survivor) in an intimate or dependent relationship. These behaviors can cause physical and.or emotional harm, arouse fear or anxiety, prevent a partner from making their own decisions, and/or force them to act in ways they do not want. Domestic violence includes physical, sexual, emotional, economic, psychological, and spiritual abuse as well as stalking. Domestic violence can occur between intimate partners (spouses, boyfriends/girlfriends, etc.), roommates, family, friends, and caregivers and their clients.

Domestic violence takes many different forms and several types of abuse may be occurring at the same time.

• • Verbal Abuse includes calling you names, insulting you, threatening you, or continually criticizing you.

  • Emotional & Psychological Abuse includes withholding affection, minimizing or ignoring your feelings, denying the abuse is happening, making false promises, using body language to make you feel scared, and ignoring your needs.

  • Financial Abuse includes preventing access to money or bank accounts, controlling how your paycheck is spent, destroying property, ruining your credit, and preventing you from purchasing basic necessities.

  • Sexual Abuse includes ignoring your feelings regarding sex, pressuring you to have sex even when you don’t want to, insisting that you owe them sex, purposefully infecting you with an STI, and manipulating you into performing sexual activities.

  • Physical Abuse includes pushing, choking, kicking, driving recklessly while you are in the car, trapping you in spaces, forbidding you to take care of yourself, forcing you to use drugs or alcohol, and harming your children or pets.

  • Spiritual Abuse includes using your religious or spiritual beliefs to manipulate you, preventing you from practicing your religious or spiritual beliefs, and ridiculing your religious or spiritual beliefs.

  • Cyber Abuse includes constantly checking your phone, pressuring you to send elicit pictures or videos (i.e. sexting), demanding passwords to your phone or social media accounts, sending you negative or threatening emails, texts, or messages via social media, and attempting to control who you contact via email, phone, or social media.

  • Stalking includes monitoring your phone calls or computer use, showing up at your home, workplace, or school, constantly calling or texting you, following or tracking you, sending you unwanted gifts, cards, or letters, and constantly questioning friends or family of your whereabouts.

To learn about our services for survivors of domestic violence, please click here.