Domestic violence is an indiscriminate crime. Statistics show that victims span all genders, races, socioeconomic classes, ages, education levels, occupations, disabilities, religions and political affiliations. Moreover, a person's mannerisms, personality and physical attributes such as size and weight are poor indicators of their risk to becoming a victim or perpetrator of domestic violence crimes.
Some people are often surprised to learn that domestic violence occurs in LGBT relationships to the same frequency and severity as it does among heterosexuals.
Hitting, choking, slapping, burning, shoving, hitting with objects/using a weapon or restraining you.
Controlling who you can see, what groups or organizations you can be in, what you can read or know about, what movies you can see, where you can go.
Criticizing you, humiliating you, lying to you, neglecting you, causing you to feel degraded.
Threats and Intimidation
Threatening to harm children, family, friends, or pets. Threatening to report your orientation, HIV or citizenship status to the authorities or others.
Taking control of your money or stealing it, running up debts, making you dependent against your will.
Forcing sex or certain sex acts, forcing sex with others, assaulting parts of your body, withholding sex, criticizing sexual performance, refusing safer sex, disrespecting "safe words" or violating boundaries of a "scene."
Destruction of Property
Damaging personal objects or clothing, overturning or breaking furniture, vandalizing the home, throwing or smashing things, destroying clothes, hurting or killing pets.
Getting in the way of medical treatment; withholding medications; destroying important documents; threatening to reveal HIV status to friends, family, employers, immigration or governmental authorities.
Threatening to "out" you to others in situations where you have chosen not to come out or feel it is unsafe to do so.
If you are questioning whether or not you are a victim of domestic violence, think about these questions:
Does your partner repeatedly:
But silence about domestic violence only feeds the isolation that victims of domestic violence feel, and gives more power their abusers. The only way to end the cycle of domestic violence is to do something about it.
Safety Plan Guidelines
Leaving an abusive relationship without a safety plan is dangerous and can put your life at risk. Following is a list of ideas to help you create a safety plan. Contact KCAVP for more information, if you have questions or need help.
Keep a bag packed that is ready to go and easy to grab at a moment's notice. Remember that if an argument seems unavoidable, try to move to a room with easy access to an exit, but not a bathroom, kitchen or anywhere near potential weapons.
Safety Plan Checklist
If you are planning to leave, here is a checklist of things you may need to take with you.
Call KCAVP at 816-561-0550 to talk with someone who understands and can help.